We are tired of you being so mean to everyone
by vizzy1997
Summary: it's about the trolls ... all of them
1. Chapter 1

I'm lucky to get a seat for myself on the bus, it's usually full of people and if I don't need to stand I have to sit beside a stranger. if I have really bad luck, I have to sit beside a human. they don't really like us trolls, but I'm used to that. I would also have bad luck if I have to sit beside a low blood. they shouldn't even have come to earth, and the humans really hate them. but I have purple blood, so I'm more accepted than other trolls, though humans still dislike me.

suddenly I see someone standing beside my seat. it's a troll with big horns and the taurus sign on his black shirt. and he has robot legs...?

"cAN I,,, uHH,,, sIT HERE?" he asks.

I hesitate before I answer. I know this troll from school, he's a low blood, but there's more reasons to why I don't like him. one is, he had flushed feelings for me a while ago, or maybe he still has, and he wrote love letters and put them in my locker. when I found out that it was him, I told him to stop, but he didn't. after some seconds of thinking, I tell him that yes, he can sit beside me.

"sO,,, wHAT CLASSES DO YOU HAVE TODAY?" he asks shyly. I stare at him as answer. that's absolutely nothing that he needs to know. why would I tell him anything at all? why would I even talk to him? I regret letting him sit beside me, but I can't tell him to stand now, I'm too nice for that. he asks again, and now I'm starting to get annoyed.

"it's none if your fucking business, asshat", I answer angrily. he should understand that I don't want anything to do with him.

"mY NAME IS tAVROS", he says.

oh great, I think. now he's trying to protect himself? seem tougher than he is? well, he's failing.

"I don't care what your fucking name is", I say, sounding maybe a little more angry than I'd need to. "the only thing I care about right now is that you're fucking sitting beside me and trying to talk to me and I don't fucking want to be close to you, okay?"

"sORRY."

"just shut the fuck up already, we're almost at school."

I survived the bus trip, obviously. I also survived school, and I hopefully didn't fail that test we had in chemistry class. right now I'm sitting in the school café. my friend gamzee left after his last class instead of staying at school accompanying me as he usually does. we use to study together. but he said he didn't want to do that today.

"hello", a voice suddenly says behind me. I turn around to face eridan.

"what the fuck do you want?"

"I'm just wwondering wwhat you're doing", he says and smiles.

"I'm going to fucking study, now can you leave me the fuck alone?" I shout while my mind repeats bad day bad day bad day bad day. I really don't like eridan, he's so annoying. his matesprit, feferi, is okay though, but it seems like she's not with him now.

"you sound like kar", eridan says.

"you mean the one who won't tell anyone what his blood color is?" I have to ask, as I blush a little hearing his name.

"yes, him."

"well, I don't fucking care who I sound like, now leave me alone, I don't wanna say I failed a test 'cause some asshat wouldn't leave me alone."

as he leaves I let out a dramatic sigh of relief. I turn to my biology book and start reading. I find the school subject to be very boring, maybe they're interesting to the humans but not to is trolls. which troll would have any use of knowing how humans to do have a grub? I mean baby. the humans don't need to learn anything about trolls though.

"WHY THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE SO MUCH BETTER THAN EVERYONE BECAUSE OF YOUR FUCKING BLOOD COLOR?" a voice suddenly yells behind me. I spin around in my chair to see karkat standing behind me.

"have I ever said that, mister hide-my-blood-color?" I reply with a smile.

"YOU FUCKING ACTED LIKE THAT EARLIER TODAY."

"excuse me?" I pretend to be shocked. I am better than others because of my blood color, but not everyone. that idiot eridan, for one, has a higher blood color than me, and so does feferi. and gamzee is the same as me.

"TAVROS TOLD ME."

"I never fucking mentioned blood color, but okay", I say. I'm starting to get tired if people talking to me today. well, I don't really mind talking to karkat, but I really need to study. when karkat doesn't answer right away I then my back to him again and return to reading in my biology book.

"y0u need t0 change", I hear another voice behind me, but whoever said that walks away together with karkat. I quickly spin around to see who it was, and I think I recognize her. I can't remember that low blood's name though.

not knowing karkat's blood color is really annoying. I don't know if I really have any feelings for him, but if I do, I can't have a matesprit too low in the caste system. or even a friend, for that matter. otherwise I'd probably be friend with sollux, who I had worked with in math class. he was really good with computer, and is like to be friend with him. but his yellow blood made that impossible for me.

I realize I'm still looking at karkat and the other troll, they're sitting together at a table, and after a while, more trolls start to show up. after five minutes, it's twelve of them sitting there. and in disappointment, I realize gamzee is one of them. that shouldn't surprise me though, 'cause he's karkat's moirail, but I still don't like to see him with some of those trolls.

that cat troll is really nice, but also she is too low on the hemospectrum to be a friend of mine. sometimes, it's too bad that it matters. but it's a good way to keep track of the people worth to make friend with, and the ones not worthy.

after a while, the one of them who has red glasses walk over to me. she sits down at the chair beside mine. in the beginning it would always surprise me that she knows her surrounding perfectly though she's blind.

"W3 4R3 T1R3D OF YOU B31NG SO M34N TO 3V3RYON3", she says, but before I have the chance to answer, she leaves again. when she has returned to their table, one of the others stand up and walks over to me, I recognize her as kanaya, and also she sits down beside me.

"what the fuck do you wa..."

"We Are Tired Of You Being So Mean To Everyone", she cuts me off and then leave. when she comes back to the others, feferi walks over and sits beside me.

"we are tired of you being so mean to everyone", she says and walks back. when the next troll stands up to walk over to me, I slam my book closed and throw it in my school bag to walk away. but the troll comes to me anyone, and puts a hand on my shoulder to make me stay.

"we are tired of 8eing so mean to everyone", she says and then walks back to the table. before I even can see who is the next one to stand up and tell me that same stupid thing, I run out of the door to the school café and to the bus stop.

the next day starts terribly. the bus is full, and it almost seems like someone has arranged it, because all humans and high blood trolls are sitting. which leaves me to stand together with the low bloods. half way to school one if them looks up at me offering me their seat, I say yes without hesitation. I shouldn't have done that. someone had put a bubblegum on the seat, and now it's stuck to my jeans. great, I think. at least my shirt covers my butt.

the bus finally comes to my school, it felt like it took the double time of what it usually does. I get in to my first class and see that someone has written "we are tired of you being so mean to everyone" all over my desk. it's written in different colors and quirks, maybe it's the twelve trolls from yesterday who has written it.

I can't focus on the class, neither on the two following classes. when it's lunch break, I walk over to sit with gamzee, because he's sitting alone at out usual table.

"HeY sIs", he says and smiles when he sees me. I sit down beside him and put the food on the table.

"what the fuck was that thing yesterday about?" I ask him.

"I dOnT kNoW wHaT yOuRe TaLkInG aBoUt", he says, still smiling stupidly.

"you and those other eleven trolls!" I yell. "that was fucking bullying."

"I dOnT kNoW wHaT yOuRe TaLkInG aBoUt" he says again. I sigh and take a bite of my food. it tastes like shit. or maybe it's my bad mood making me think it tastes like that. whatever, I won't eat it.

"you and your idiot friends told me the same fucking thing and then you fucking wrote it on my desk! for all fucking classes!"

"I dOnT kNoW wHaT yOuRe TaLkInG aBoUt." when he answers with the same thing again, I stand up and leave. I walk to my locker to get my stuff for the next class, realizing it starts in half an hour.

"fucking great", I mumble to myself."

the following day are just the same. I wish I could disappear from the surface of earth. everything's shit, and none of those twelve trolls talk to me. of course the other trolls still do, and they seem to not know anything about it. the few days I tried to stay at the café for studying all needed up the same way. they were sitting at the same table, and took turns on walking over to me and tell me the same thing. after two weeks like this, I want to stay home from school, but I can't, because we have big tests coming up before summer break.

I'm standing outside my locker, erasing the text they've written, it's actually no idea to do that, because when I come back on monday the text will be there again.

"LEARNT YOUR LESSON YET?" someone asks behind me and I turn around to face karkat and another troll.

"what fucking lesson?" I ask.

"we are tired 0f y0u being s0 mean t0 every0ne", the troll beside him says.

"I'm not mean!" I yell angrily.

"YES YOU FUCKING ARE AND THAT WILL STOP!" karkat says.

"y0u are g0ing 0n a date with tavr0s t0night."


	2. Chapter 2

the troll that had showed up together with karkat turns out to be named aradia. I don't like her at all, she's not nice to me, and she's the lowest you can. but she brings me to their usual lunch table in school, where now gamzee is also sitting. she introduces me to everyone, then tells me to sit down beside tavros and vriska.

"my class starts soon", I say, because I don't want to be around these trolls. and I'm definitely not going on a date with tavros.

"8ad excuse", vriska says and pulls out the chair I'm supposed to sit at. I stare at her like she's crazy. how can all these trolls even be friends? how can someone like feferi even consider talking to someone like aradia, and what worse is, they're actually friends? how do they make that? it's impossible.

"well, I'm not fucking sitting with you guys, so see you if you have any classes with me", I say and turn to walk away. someone, equius probably, takes my hand in a strong grip and pulls me with him to the chair, lifts me up, and then sits me down on it. I stare at him, because I don't know anything better to do.

"I have a fucking class now!" I shout and try to stand up, but both vriska and tavros grab my chair and holds it in place. though I'm quite strong I have no chance escaping now.

I look at the others and feel a their eyes glued to me. what I nightmare, I think. let me wake up, fucking please.

"Do You Need Any Help Picking Clothes For Your Date Tonight?" kanaya asks me.

"what fucking date?" I ask her, pretending like I have no idea of what she's talking about. tavros gives me a sad look.

"your d8 with tavros, dummy", vriska says. I can hear some of the others laugh quietly.

"I'm not going on a fucking date with that asshat", I answer angrily.

"DONT L13!" terezi says. "YOU W1LL GO, W3TH3R YOU W4NT OR NOT", she smiles maliciously.

"how would you make me?"

"We Will Find A Way", kanaya says. "But It Is Easier If You Just Agree To Go, And Come To My Place First, To Get Help With Clothes And Other Preparations."

i go home from school, realize I've forgot the key to my apartment at school. when I go back to school it's locked. i want to give applause to myself for my stupidity. no keys the whole weekend? fucking great. this is when it would be good to be a human and have your parents that could let you in. or, if my lusus had been able to follow me to earth, but she hadn't. that didn't really bother me, but what can I do now?

I decide to walk to gamzee's place, he's not opening the door, but on the floor in front of it it's a note. with an address on. I sigh, and check where on my phone where it is. it's not too far away, and since I have nothing better to do, I decide to walk there.

I stop outside the house. it's quite big. I check the address on the note again, because I brought it with me. it's correct. I walk up to the door and knock on it. it's opened after just a few seconds and I see kanaya standing inside.

"I Thought You Wouldnt Come", she says with a smile.

"I wasn't fucking planning to", I say angrily. "but I fucking forgotten keys to my apartment in school."

"No YoU dIdNt", I hadn't even noticed that gamzee was here.

"what the fuck do you mean?"

"He Means That Karkat Took Them, To Make Sure That You Would Come Here."

"yeah okay", I sigh. "but I'm leaving again."

"NO YOU'RE NOT."

oh great, I think. karkat's here too?

"Come In", kanaya says. "I And Aradia Will Get You Ready For Your Date."

choosing between going in to kanaya's house or staying on the street is surprisingly easy. I'd have nowhere to go for the whole weekend. so I step inside and then kanaya shows me in to a big room with nothing but a lot of closets in it. she takes out some dresses and holds them in front of me, exactly at that time aradia shows up.

"y0u sh0uld make her wear that red dress", aradi says.

"why do you have so fucking many dresses?" I ask, actually a little bit interested. but I try to convince myself that I'm just asking because I feel stupid just standing there, and I'm usually not the kind that stays quiet. not even around people that I don't like at all.

"I Really Like Fashion", kanaya explain, and then turns to aradia. "I Dont Think She Would Wear Any Other Color On Her Shirt Than Purple."

she's right. showing what blood color I have is important to me. that's why I'm always wearing purple jeans. I look at kanaya, who's wearing a red skirt. I know she has green blood... what does it matter if I change for one night?

"no, I can wear what-fkn-ever", I say giving kanaya an angry look.

"Then We Take The Red One", she says and holds it in front of me. I don't know if it's good or bad luck, but it's exactly my size.

"You Can do Her Hair", kanaya says looking at aradia. "Im Going To Help Tavros Get Ready." then she leaves. aradia takes out hair things from a bag she had brought with her, then she tells me to sit down on the floor. I do as she says, which doesn't feel good. she starts to brush my long black hair, carefully avoiding touching my horns. I wish I had something to talk about, because I don't feel comfortable in this silence. but at the same time I don't want to talk to aradia. she's not worthy of talking to me. that's what my other high blood friends have told me.

when I was younger, I used to be against that. but I got so used to it. I'm better than them. teal and lower is completely worthless. but, these twelve trolls that have now decided to annoy the shut out of me, seem to be able to be friends with each other. from the lowest blood color to the highest, and one whose blood color no one knows.

"I'm d0ne n0w", aradia says after what feels like only a few seconds. I had been drifting off in thoughts. aradia takes a small mirror out of her bag and gives it to me. I look good, as always. but my hair is different. it's straightened out, and seems to have more volume. and she has made a braid of my bangs.

"what d0 y0u think?" she asks.

"it's look..." I stop myself from saying that it looks perfect. "okay."

"0kay, n0w get in that dress", she says and holds it in front of me. I get in it and then look at myself in the small mirror. well, I could've looked worse. okay now who am I trying to lie to? I couldn't possibly look better. it really fits me. but it's not my color.

"sh0uld I d0 y0our makeup t00?" aradia asks and takes out makeup stuff from her bag. I wonder how she could get all that stuff in it. but I nod as answer and she tells me to close my eyes. after some more minutes she tells me to open my eyes and look in to the mirror. it looks good. she's only used black mascara and eyeliner, and a red lipstick.

"if you think of how we usually do with the color we're wearing, I'd be a fucking mutant", I say to aradia.

"THAT'S THE FUCKING POINT", karkat yells from outside the room. so they were all listening? I think to myself. fucking great.

I walk out of the room together with aradia. karkat and gamzee are standing outside, gamzee does thumbs up when he sees me.

"KaNaYa DiD a GoOd JoB mAkInG yOu LoOk GoOd", he says. I smile back. we would be the perfect match, two high bloods. but he's a little... odd. my other friends, well they're just friends, not even good enough to be pale for. I've never had anyone in any of my quadrants. and today is the first time ever I think that maybe it's me who's doing something wrong. maybe they're right, maybe I am mean. but, I think to myself. I've been told that nonstop for two weeks, it doesn't have to be correct not because twelve trolls are saying it to me.

"karkat?" aradia calls for his attention. "d0 y0u mind sh0wing [Name] the say t0 tavr0s' apartment?"

"YES I FUCKING MIND BUT I'LL FUCKING DO IT ANYWAY."

"oh great", I say sarcastically. "I have to walk with the angry insecure one."

"SHUT THE FUCK UP AN FOLLOW ME", he grabs my hand and starts pulling me with him.

"have fun!" aradia says.

"HoPe YoUlL hAvE fUn", gamzee says and waves at me as karkat pulls me out the door. I smile back at them. then I wish I could make that smile undone. they can't think I actaually want this!


	3. Chapter 3

"SO", karkat says when we're standin outside the door to tavros' apartment.

"WE'RE HERE."

"yeah I fucking got that", I answer angrily. I don't really know if I'm angry about this because I don't want to, or, if I'm nervous about this. but would it matter if I screwed up this date? I don't like tavros at all. this would be better off as a hate date. or maybe not.

karkat knocks on the door. I nervously pull spin my hair around my finger. then I stop. I can't allow myself to act like this. it's not a date of importance. it's just me acting like a fool. as soon as tavros opens the door, I'll realize that I don't want this, and then I'll be back in my bad mood. it must be like that.

it's not tavros who opens the door. it's nepeta. what's she doing here?

"hello [Name], mew look purretty", she says smiling. karkat and I walk inside, but tavros isn't anywhere I can see him. we stand just by the door and wait for tavros. after quite many minutes, he finally shows up. he's dressed in brown chinos and a black sweater with his sign on it. he smile at me shyly. and he clearly doesn't know what to say.

"what the fuck are we even gonna do at this fucking date?" I ask, trying my best to sound like I don't want to go on a date with him. I don't want to. I tell myself that repeatedly, but a part of my mind refuses to believe it.

"yOU LOOK,,, uHH,,, pRETTY", he says. I nod as answer. I'm not going to say anything about his look. he doesn't even look good. even if he kind of does, he's a low blood. that makes him not look good.

"that didn't fucking answer my question", I say, and I can't believe how long it took for me to realize what I should say. "what the fuck are we going to fucking do?"

"i DONT KNOW", tavros answers.

"then why don't we fucking skip this shit?" I ask. "I don't want to go on a fucking date with you."

"but I ship mew!" nepeta says, pouting. I give her an evil smile as answer. I kind of regret doing that after seeing how sad she looks.

"JUST GO ON THE FUCKING DATE", karkat says.

"thanks karkitty", nepeta says, smiling again. I sigh, and say "okay fine."

"nO", tavros suddenly says. "i DONT, wANT TO GO, oN A DATE, wITH HER."

"what the fuck are you saying?" I yell angrily. "all this shit, and then you don't fucking want to?!"

"WHO THE FUCK WOULD WANT TO GO ON A DATE WOTH YOU?" karkat replies. "NO ONE WOULD EVEN WANT TO GO ON A HATE DATE WITH YOU", he adds.

"then what was the fucking point of this?!" I yelled. "you fucking forced me to get ready for a date with a fucking low blood who could just as well be fucking dead!"

"mew are so mean", nepeta says.

"DID YOU SERIOUSLY THINK TAVROS FUCKING WANTED TO GO OUT WITH YOU?" karkat asks.

"what about y'all just leave me the fuck alone?" I say, then I leave his apartment. outside of it the rest of the trolls are standing.

"oh what the fuck now?!" I yell, and start to cry in frustration. "why can't you just leave me alone?"

"are mew crying..?" nepeta asks.

"FUCK OFF! LEAVE ME ALONE!" I yell and run away from them. these trolls are such pains. why would they do like this to me? after running a bit I stop and sit down on the ground. I'm sweaty, and my legs are tired. I take out my phone, just to find out that it doesn't have any battery.

"fuck my life", I mumble for myself. I curl up against a fence and start to cry. my life had been perfect until they decided to ruin it. why would y they do this to me? I haven't done anything to me? I didn't even know the names of half of them before this! I see their faces in my mind, them all saying the same thing, "we are tired of you being so mean to everyone." maybe they're right? maybe I am mean? and that's why I'm feeling so bad now... because they've made me realize it. without knowing that I've realized it.

I'm really tired. and after sitting here for a while, it gets hard to focus on my thoughts.

I wake up by a pair of hands shaking me.

"WhAt ArE yOu DoInG oUt HeRe?" gamzee asks. his stupid smile is gone and he looks rather concerned.

"I don't have a fucking key to my apartment", I say and yawn.

"YoU cOuLd CoMe To My ApArTmEnT", he says.

"no thanks", I answer. "you were a part of this fucking ... thing you did to me!"

"It WaS vRiSkAs IdEa", gamzee says. "DoNt BlAmE iT oN mE."

"I blame it on who-fkn-ever I want", I answer.

"ItS tOo LaTe FoR yOu To Be OuT hErE aLoNe", he says. this is weird. he doesn't use to act like a caring friend. he must be really worried. "ThE oThErS aRe ThErE tOo", he adds. "AnD tHeY wAnT tO aPoLoGiZe."

"I don't want their apology", I mutter. "what about actually doing that fucking date?" I can't believe I'm actually saying that.

"TaVrOs WoNt Go OuT wItH yOu."

"well then I go out with someone else", I say. gamzee knows me, I'm stubborn, and I won't let this go. they wanted me to go on a date with someone. then I will do that.

"would you go out with me?"

we walk to gamzee's apartment. it's quite long from here, but I don't mind the walk. along the way, he tells me the idea of this. obviously, a lot of trolls at school think I'm mean. and some of the humans think so too. and after what I said to tavros on the bus, though it wasn't close to the worst things I've said (according to them), they decided to do something about it. they had been saying "we are tired of you being so mean to everyone" to make me understand it. then when that obviously didn't work, they thought they'd force me to go on a date with tavros, only to make him say no in the end. so they could prove that he wouldn't wink that low to go in a date with me. they had chosen him, because he had been flushed for me.

when we arrive at gamzee's apartment sollux let's us in.

"you are here", he says, sounding a little surprised.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE DOING HERE?" karkat asks. "YOU DIDN'T TELL ME SHE WOULD FUCKING COME."

"ShE cAn AlSo Be OuR fRiEnD", gamzee says. "ShEs AlReAdY mInE."

I sigh. I don't want to be here. but I she to. and that's why I haven't said anything yet, I know I'd say something mean, well something they'd consider mean. they keep talking but I stop listening. I don't want to hear them discuss wether I should be here or not. after a while, they're all looking at me. quiet.


	4. Chapter 4

this is the worst silence I've ever heard. it feels like the air is full of voices, just our of reach for me to hear. I look at them, from face to face. they stare back at me. just as I'm starting to feel even more uncomfortable, gamzee says, "I tOlD tHeM tHaT yOu WaNt To Go On A dAtE wItH oNe Of ThEm."

I give him a weird look as answer. then I remember that we talked about that too while walking here. how the fuck could I forget that? I think to myself.

"who do I want to go on a date with?" I ask, remembering plan. gamzee looks around at the other trolls.

"ThE lOwEsT bLoOd."

"why the fuck would I want that?" I ask him, and look at the others. I ruined the plan. because I can't play along with this. then I regret it. if I could turn back time and make that unsaid, I would. because I had just decided that I would stop caring about the hemospectrum, whatever my other high blood friends would say about that. "no wait..." I say, but I don't know what I'm asking term to wait for. for me telling then that maybe they're right and I need to change? I shouldn't change my mind to believe their words after only one night. well it has actually gone two weeks. I suddenly know exactly what I should say. "I'm sorry", I start with. "I though I..." this is hard, "would give you all a chance, if you want to of course", I close my eyes, it doesn't mean anything, it's just so I won't see their faces when I say the last thing. "so I guess I'm going on a date with the lowest blood of you", I hesitate before I say the name, "aradia? would you go out with me? but as friends." I have to add the last part, because I have no romantic interest at all in her.

"n0", she answers. I look at her, actually a little shocked by the answer.

"why the fuck not?" I ask, but she doesn't answer. instead she walks away. then tavros walks away, then sollux. then kanaya, nepeta and terezi. after them vriska and equius. last to leave hate gamzee, eridan and feferi. the only one left in the room is karkat. I give him a weird look.

"THERE'S A FUCKING REASON WHY YOU DON'T KNOW MY BLOOD COLOR", he says and gives my dress a sharp look. then he looks in to my eyes. I look back at him. "MY FRIENDS KNOW", he adds. then he nods at me. I don't understand what he means now, but I'm quite sure I shouldn't just ask what his blood color is. if he wants me to know, he'll tell me, even if that's what he's trying to do by looking at my dress.

this is the moment a lamp should be lightened above my head. my eyes widen as I realize that he must be a mutant blood. his blood is red. really red, like this dress. he slowly nods at me, as if he could read my mind.

"that's not low", I say. "it's fucking mutant. wrong. shouldn't exist." after I've said those words, karkat stares at me as if I've jut shot him. then also he leaves the room.

I'm left alone in gamzee's apartment. but I can hear their voices from gamzee's respiteblock. I can't take hearing that any longer, so I walk out of the door to leave. but I don't have time to. someone's hand grips my shoulder and pulls me back in.

"That Wasnt Nice Of You To Say", kanaya says and gives me a sharp look. "Even If Hes Always Angry, Hes Nicer Than You. And Even If He Acts Like He Doesnt Care, He Is Insecure About His Blood Color."

"do you think I fucking care?"

"I Hoped You Would, Because You Didnt Only Hurt Him, And Not Only Right Now", she says, and she sounds almost like a teacher. "You Hurt Everyone, Always. Even Your High Blood Friends Think Youre Too Much, They Only Look Down On Low Bloods A Little, While You Act Like They Are The Reason For Every Small Imperfection That Exists."

"that's I've fucking grown up to believe!" I yell to defend myself.

"No Its Not", kanaya says. "Thats What Some Of The Trolls Youve Been Unlucky To Have As Friends Have Told You, Just Look At This Group Of Trolls, Were All Perfectly Good Friends, No Matter Blood Color."

"I can't just change why I think about others in one fucking night", I say, but I feel like I'm already changing my mind. I had already decided I'd try to not care about the hemospectrum, maybe I could just remove it out of my mind.

"If You Want To Try, We Will Be Here To Help You", kanaya says, and she shows a little of a smile. "And You Should Stop Hanging Out With Those Who Think Like You Used To Do."

"okay, fine", I sigh. maybe I give up just because I'm tired. maybe I give up because I want to. and maybe it's time for me to change. no wait, not maybe, because it is. for sure.

~time skip~

it has gone three months. I've learnt to know all of the trolls really well. but now there's another problem. actually, there's two problems. really big problems. and if one of them solves, the other one will never. because I can't have both.

today, I'm hanging out with a human boy. he's one of the few open minded ones that don't see any problems in being with trolls. and he's a friend of karkat. that's the important thing.

"do you think he would tell you what he thinks of me if you asked him?" I ask.

"I guess", John answers. "but that could make him understand that you're flushed for him", he adds.

"or that you like him and wants to see if you have a chance", I say jokingly. I've really changed over these three months. beside the twelve trolls, I've made friend with for humans who are really nice and they accept the trolls. they treat us like we were just differently looking humans. which is very different from what I'm used to. but I don't mind, because after that night at gamzee's apartment, I broke the contact with all my old friends. so that I could focus on changing myself. and I'm happy with the change I've gone through.

"why don't you just plain tell him that you're flushed for him?" John asks.

"because I don't want to be rejected", I say. that would... "that would really make me sad."

"yeah, most are afraid of being rejected", John agrees. "but you might never find out if you don't tell him."

"I don't want to tell him", I admit. "I want him to... just know it."

"I thought you weren't the kind that has problems talking to others."

"I don't!" I say, "it's just that I don't know how to keep being friend with the one who has rejected you."

"who said he'd reject you?"

"no one..." I sigh. "but I really don't know what he'll do."

"I think you should go for it."

so I end up standing outside karkat's apartment after a while. but as I knock on the door I change my mind. I can't tell him. even I'd that would solve one of my problems. it would still unable the other problem to ever solve, and right now I don't know what problem is he most important. but I'm already standing outside karkat's apartment, and I need a reason to why I'm here. to avoid him suspecting that I'm flushed for him. when he opens the door, I've found out what I could want.

"I'd need advice on something, and it's really important", I say and walk in to his apartment. karkat gives me a little surprised look, then leads me to the living room and tells me to sit down in the couch. I see in the tv screen that he had been watching one of his romcoms. when he sees what I'm looking at. he takes the remote and turns the tv off.

"WHAT IS IT YOU NEED FUCKING ADVICE ON?" he asks.

I almost regret my decision to ask him about this, but I'd need to ask someone and the only other one is trust to tell wouldn't be able to help me.

"I'm flushed for someone", I say, and then mentally facepalm myself because of how stupid that sounds. great, I think. now he'll think in flushed for someone else. "and I'm pale for that someone's moirail."

"IT WOULD BE EASIER FOR ME TO ADVICE YOU ID YOU FUCKIG TOLD ME WHO THIS IS ABOUT."

"I don't want to", I say, my voice sounding way too sad.

"WELL MAYBE YOU SHOULD TAKE THE MATESPRITSHIP AS THE MORE IMPORTANT AND LET THE ONE YOU'RE PALE FLR JUST BE YOUR FRIEND", karkat says after thinking a while. then he gives me a suspicious look. "BUT WHO THE FUCK WOULD YOU FEEL PALE FOR? I THOUGHT YOU AND GAMZEE WERE BEST FRIENDS..." his eyes widen, and he looks at me like he can't believe what he just said.


	5. Chapter 5

purple tears all over my face. because karkat told me to leave. I don't know where to go now, neither what to do. I just came from John, and he had told me to confess to karkat. he didn't know who I was pale for, who I wanted to be my moirail, though. that big problem. and karkat had realized so easily. almost too easy... or no. it didn't need to be a smart person to understand. everyone knows gamzee and I are really good friends. he could probably be my moirail, if he wasn't karkat's.

but this means I can't go to gamzee either. because I can't tell him what happened. even if I told him that karkat realized I was fished for him and then just sent me away, it wouldn't really make sense.

I walk without thinking of where I am. after a while, I end up standing outside kanaya's house. but she can't see my like this. no one's allowed to see me cry. no one. I think if I repeat that many times enough, maybe I'll stop crying. but I don't. and after standing outside kanaya's house for a while, she opens the door and walks out.

"Is Something Wrong?" she asks.

"no", I answer. "I'm just... taking a walk."

"Where Are You Going?"

"nowhere special..." I say, "just walking around."

"Youve Been Standing Outside My House For Fifteen Minutes", she tells me. I look at her in shock. I hadn't realized it had gone that long.

"I was thinking", I say.

"About The One Making You Cry?"

"what?!" I shout.

"Someone Who Rejected You?"

"stop!"

"Which Quadrant?"

"he didn't fucking reject me!" I yell angrily, tears still streaming down my face. "he just told me to fucking leave after he, apparently, fucking found out who I'm flushed for! and who I'm fucking pale for! and that ruined fucking everything!"

kanaya brings me in to a hug. when she let's go of me, she has purple tears on her shirt. I sigh, maybe a little dramatic. then kanaya tells me that she would invite me to come inside, if Rose, her matesprit, wasn't here. that had surprised me in the beginning. her matesprit was a human. how the fuck does that make sense? I wonder, but I know the answer. it doesn't. the humans don't have all this messed up shit with quadrants, they have one kind if romance. it would be much easier if we had that too. I wouldn't be in that's situation then. or I kind of would, because karkat still wouldn't want me.

when kanaya leaves, I start to walk again. but I don't know where. I guess I could just walk home, but I don't really feel like doing that. I need to talk to someone, but I don't know who that would be. I haven't talked to my old friends in a month, and just thinking of doing that makes me feel bad. I have changed, they're still the same. so I end up walking to gamzee's apartment anyway. but just before I knock on the door I hesitate. and that's probably really good, because now I hear gamzee talking to someone. or more like, listening to someone else talking.

"SHE FUCKING WANTS TO STEAL MY MOIRAIL", karkat yells, he sounds really angry, more angry than usual, like he would kill me if he got the chance to. I freeze outside the door. I don't know if I want to hear this conversation.

"ArE yOu SuRe ThAtS wHaT sHe MeAnT?" gamzee... doesn't sound happy. that's bad. and he's my best friend.

"YES I'M FUCKING SURE", karkat answers. "I TOLD YOU WHAT SHE SAID, THERE'S NO OTHER WAY TO UNDERSTAND IT, SHE MUST HAVE MEANT US TWO."

"Is ThAt So BaD?" gamzee asks. I can't believe my ears, is he protecting me?

"YES IT'S VERY FUCKING BAD", karkat answers, sounding even more angry. "OR WOULD YOU RATHER BE HER MOIRAIL?"

I want to walk away. I'm very sure I shouldn't be hearing this. and it doesn't make me happy to hear it, I actually feel really bad. I know I wouldn't have said anything to karkat.

"GiVe HeR a MoThErFuCkIn ChAnCe."

"A CHANCE?" karkat repeats. "A CHANCE TO WHAT? BE MY FUCKING MATESPRIT? I DON'T HAVE ANY FEELINGS AT ALL FOR HER."

"guuuuuuuuuys", another voice says, and I'm surprised to recognize it as vriska. "do you know she's standing outside the door listening to you?"

"1 C4N SM3LL H3R", a fourth voice says, terezi. that's enough to make me run away. they knew I was listening and didn't tell them right away? why not? did they want me to hear this? thoughts like those are flying around in my mind as I run to my apartment. I unlock the door and get inside. then I throw myself on the couch, and start to cry again. this day's been too much.

after laying on the couch for a while, I get up to get something to eat. but while in the kitchen, I change my mind. at the exact same time as I walk out of the kitchen, someone knock on the door. I walk over to see who it is.

"hey feferi", I say when I see her standing outside the apartment.

")(-Ello [Name]!" she let's herself inside and walks to the living room and sits down in the couch. I walk over and sit down beside her.

"what the fuck do you want?"

"I just wanted to see if my friend was okay", she says. "I was at gamzee's please too", she adds. I don't answer. I have no idea what to say.

"are you really flus)(ed for karkat?" she asks. I tell her that "yes", I am. she gives me a half sad smile.

"w)(at are you going to do about it?" she asks.

"obviously fucking nothing", I say.

"I t)(ink )(e lied w)(en )(e said )(e doesn't )(ave any feelings for you."

"why would he?"

")(e just told you to leave, didn't )(e?"

"that doesn't fucking mean anything."

"it could", feferi smiles. "and me, terezi and tavros made a plan to get you two toget)(er."


	6. Chapter 6

"it won't work", I say angrily after hearing their plan. "no fucking way."

"1F 1T DO3SNT WORK TH4N 4T L34ST YOUVE H4D 4 D4T3 W1TH T4VROS", terezi says. " L1K3 YOU W4NT3D."

"I never wanted that!" I protest and terezi starts to laugh.

"dO YOU SILL HAVE THAT, rED DRESS?" tavros asks. I nod slowly.

"t)(is is t)(e perfect plan!" feferi says, "I'm so excit-Ed."

"it's fucking far away from perfect", I say angrily. "I'm not even sure if I fucking want to do this."

"COM3 ON [NAME]", terezi says.

"so..." I say, "I go out with tavros, you hi out with karkat..." I don't even want to continue re-telling the plan. "and in some way he should be jealous?"

"exactly!" feferi says.

"i THINK, iT WILL WORK", tavros says.

"I ducking doubt that, but okay."

"N3P3T4 SH1PS YOU", terezi adds, "THOUGH SH3S FLUSH3D FOR K4RK4T TOO."

"she ships every-fkn-one", I say.

when we're standing outside the restaurant where we're going to have the date, I want to leave. I don't want to do this. but, I shouldn't abandon tavros, even if the meaning of this "date" is more than stupid. so we get inside and sit down at a table together, a waitress comes and asks what we want to drink, we both say coke. at the same time as we get our drinks, karkat and terezi shows up. they sit down at a table close to us. when karkat sees me he turns to terezi and asks her something I can't hear. which is weird, because over this distance I should be able to hear him seeing as he's always yelling. terezi leans closer to karkat and answers him, by looking at her mouth, I guess that she's whispering.

luckily for me, karkat isn't very good at whispering, so I hear what he says next, "are you sure you didn't know they'd be here?" it's weird to hear karkat's voice like that.

"wHAT WILL YOU, hAVE TO EAT?" tavros suddenly asks me.

"I'm not fucking hungry", I answer.

"bUT WE, aRE AT A RESTAURANT."

"screw this", I say loudly. "it's ducking childish!" I wish someone would slap me for what I'll say next, but this's part of the plan. "why the fuck would I go on a date with a low blood?! if you think I've changed then you're fucking wrong, I'm exactly the same troll as I was before!" with that, I stand up as to walk away.


	7. Chapter 7

terezi stands up, walks over to me, and slaps me. okay my wish just came true. though I know it's part of the plan. karkat's still sitting on his chair, staring at us.

"what the fuck was that for?" I yell at terezi. I start to walk towards karkat's table, when terezi suddenly kicks the back of my leg. I fall over karkat, he falls off his chair, with me over him. we lay on the floor with everybody's eyes on us. and it hurts me to know that this could've happened for real three months ago, except for the fact that I'd never go out with a low blood. back then I wouldn't have. now I'm flushed for a fucking mutant.

"GET THE FUCK OFF ME!" karkat yells, but I don't listen to him. instead I close my eyes, and try to breathe as calmly as possible.

"tavros..." I mumble, "I didn't mean..." I tone out my voice while talking. it's not even possible to hear the last word I say. karkat grabs my shoulder and shakes me, he obviously believes that I've passed out and now he's trying to wake me up. then he pushes me off him and stands up.

"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR, TEREZI?!" he yells angrily. "WHY THE FUCK DID YOU HAVE TO PUSH HER ON ME?"

no answer. and there shouldn't be any. because, if they have followed the plan (which I can't see with my eyes closed) they've left now. it seems as they have, because karkat starts walking around. when I can't hear his footsteps any longer, I stand up and look around. karkat is standing by the door, looking out. they are probably out there, that was not a part of the plan. I angrily stand and look at them. it was their plan, and they ruined it. it makes me sad and angry to see them standing outside the window. I hold a fist towards them.

well i try to, because my arm doesn't move. I look down at my side, realizing I don't have an arm.

"now what the fuck...?" I ask, but my voice sounds weird. and this doesn't feel weird at all. I try to walk over to karkat, but my legs don't move. I try to tell at him, because I'm really scared now. but at the same time, I'm not scared at all. isn't this normal? isn't this supposed to happen...?

then I wake up.


	8. Chapter 8

what a fucking dream, is the first thought in my mind when I wake up. but... what was actually the dream? I can't remember what was the last real thing that happened and what was the first thing that was just a dream. I sigh, and don't dare to open my eyes just yet. I don't even know where I am. seems like not in a bed at least. so where am I...?

"ARE YOU OKAY?" my eyes fly open when I hear karkat's voice. "YOU FUCKING PASSED OUT OUTSIDE MY DOOR AND STARTED FUCKING TALKING..." he shuts up.

if I didn't know what true fear was before this, well, now I do. I stare at him, completely terrified for what I could've said.

"ARE YOU FLUSHED FOR TAVROS?" he asks.

what? flushed for tavros? me? no? or? I don't know what to say nor what to think. but this is weird. it doesn't make sense. if I'm not lying to myself about my feelings.

"I don't know", I answer slowly. because that's the truest answer I can give him at this time.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

"I don't ... know that either", I sigh. my head hurts. but I'm happy that the dream was just a dream. because if that would really have happened, I would've felt like dying. it was the worst thing imaginable. if even that. I couldn't ever imagine to actually do that plan we had made. what the hell was I thinking? or dream thinking.

"YOU JUST KNOCKED ON MY DOOR THEN FUCKING PASSED OUT", karkat says. "AND YOU STARTED SAYING TAVROS'S NAME OVER AN..." he shuts up when he sees my face. I start crying, purple tears runs down across my cheeks from my eyes.

"I wish I hadn't been so mean to him..." I mumble for myself. I'm not sure if karkat hears me, at least he doesn't answer. I don't have feelings for that robotlegged troll, do I? I'm not sure. i stand up, say I quick goodbye, and then I leave. I don't know where i'm going. maybe to tavros's place. I could need to talk to him.

I don't need to walk to tavros, because he appears outside of karkat's apartment, and I'm told to get back inside.

"uH KARKAT TOLD ME, yOU PASSED OUT, aND UH, sAID MY NAME", tavros says.

"I must've dreamt something..." I say quietly. a thought crosses my mind. this would be a good time. I thought I was pale for gamzee, but maybe not, we've been friends for so long that we would probably have been moirails already in that case. I also thought I was flushed for karkat. but maybe not. maybe I just told myself to feel for him instead of the one I actually had red feelings for. the one I had hurt months ago.

I take tavros's hand, and hesitates before I take the next step, to kissing him. he doesn't kiss back, at first. and when he does, it's not strong. but it's something. I know he has been flushed for me, maybe he is still?

when we pull apart from the kiss, we're both smiling. karkat is looking at me failing to hide the shocked expression in his face.

"SO I WAS FUCKING RIGHT", he says and glares at me.

"I think so.." I say. "tavros?"

"yES?" gives me a curios look as he answers.

"do you want to be my matesprit?" I ask.

"nO."

~~~end~~~

sorry if it took long for the last chapter to come... and if the ending is weird. please review?


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